The following list was written by Glen Hazelwood, author of the prior article, Musings of a Rookie XC Dad.
The Sprints
This is just too easy. We're fast, we're exciting and we're intense. Unlike the longer races, we sprinters go full out, the whole length of the race, taking our bodies to the maximum from start to finish. There's no room for error in our races. If you get out of the blocks too slowly, you're finished before you even get started. If you stumble during the race, you get passed up in the blink of an eye. We are obviously the “main event” of every meet we're in, which is why they put us right in the middle of the track so everyone can get a good view. Also, we're typically the first event of the meet, so we have plenty of time afterwards to go hang out and socialize with our medals around our necks. And we are clearly the best conditioned athletes on the team.
The Hurdles
Those sprint guys will probably try to tell you that their event is the best in all of winter track, but it's clear to anybody who's paying attention that it's us hurdlers that should lay claim to that distinction. The fact is we do all the very same things that the sprinters do. But unlike them, we have the additional challenge of having to clear obstacles along the way while we do it. We're just as fast and just as exciting as sprinters, but we incorporate precision timing and motor skills and add a certain element of risk and drama to the race that simply isn't there in just plain old sprinting. We're just as fast, but we're even more exciting and intense. We are everything the sprinters are and then some. And we are easily the best conditioned athletes on the team.
Middle Distance
We middle distance runners are the no-nonsense, 'get the job done' members of the team, and that's why our events are the best in all of indoor track and field. We combine sprint-like speed with the endurance of a distance runner, and compact it all into a fairly short yet very exciting race. You won't miss us if you blink like you do with the sprints. And you won't be bored to tears by watching us go round and round the track endlessly, all day long like those long distance kids. Plus, since we usually run in the middle of the meet, we have time before and after to study and do homework, so not only are we the best conditioned athletes on the team, but we're probably the smartest ones, as well.
Long Distance
There is no question that the long distance events are the best events in all of winter track. We are the thoroughbreds of the track and field world. We combine a level of grace, speed, endurance and strategy into our events that you simply will not find in any of the others. Of course we run fast, but we also have to think as we go along through our races as well. We have to concern ourselves with the planning our race; pacing ourselves, maneuvering for position and conserving some energy for a good, strong kick at the finish. Also, since we are out there on the track the longer than any of the other athletes, we create the most human drama and therefore give the best entertainment value to the fans. And we are by far the best conditioned athletes on the team.
Pole Vault
Face it…if your mom came home to find out that you and your friends made a huge pile of leaves in the backyard and spent the afternoon taking turns jumping off the roof of the garage into it, you all would be in a huge heap of trouble. However, if you join the track team and become a pole-vaulter, you can not only do essentially the very same thing, but you get to go places to do it in front of people, and maybe even get medals for it too! We pole-vaulters are strong, fast and smart. We combine our incredible athleticism with physics, geometry and timing, and we're not afraid to bring a little danger to the game as well. We definitely create the most “Ooooh!!!” moments at all of our meets. And we are definitely the best conditioned athletes on the team.
Long Jump
With all due respect to the runners, their events all share one common trait that clearly puts them a step below us long jumpers. Their events remain “unfinished”, and that's why the long jump is the best event in all of winter track and field. Sure, we run just like they do. But at the end of our run, where your sprinter types just stop and call it a race, we continue on and launch our bodies high and far, at great risk to life and limb, in an effort to outdistance our opponents and achieve new standards. And forget about the distance runners. At their plodding pace, they wouldn't even reach our pit! Speaking of which, who else gets to play in sand in the middle of the winter? The long jump is definitely the best event in winter track, and long jumpers are certainly the best conditioned athletes on the team.
Triple Jump
This is a no-brainer. Just take everything the long jump guys told you and multiply it by three. We sprint, and then we jump. And then we jump again! And then we jump again! Triple the effort. Triple the athleticism. Triple the excitement. We're so awesome Wrigley's should invent a new gum and name it after us! Just do the math and you'll see that the triple jump is at least three times better than the long jump, and that's why there is no question that it's the best event in all of winter track and field. And by the way, despite what you may hear from the others, triple jumpers are no doubt the best conditioned athletes on the team.
High Jump
At the end of a track meet, almost as often as not it is we high jumpers who are the last ones still in competition. We are very likely to be the athletes who decide who the team winner is, so not only are we the best event in all of winter track and field, we're the most important one as well. We use speed, strength and agility in a precise combination to reach our heights. Unlike the pole-vaulters, we use our bodies alone to defy gravity and throw ourselves over the bar. And when you hear the rhythmic clapping of the crowd encouraging us to soar higher and higher, it becomes clear that we are not only the best event, we're the fans favorite event as well. And there's simply no question that we're the best conditioned athletes in winter track.
Shot Put
For any kid who grew up constantly hearing, “WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP THROWING THAT BALL AROUND INSIDE!!!” the shot put is clearly the best event in all of winter track. We shot putters blend strength, speed and coordination into an art form that no other event comes close to. Those skinny little distance guys or long jumpers can barely pick up the same shot that we throw 40, 50, even 60 feet or more! Plus, we don't get all sweaty and smelly from all that running like they do, and we can eat all the food we want before and after the meet! The shot put is unquestionably the best event in winter track and we are definitely the best…….ummmm…….MOST FUN……yeah, the most fun athletes on the whole team.
Indoor Steeplechase
Ask yourself this one simple question. What could be more exciting, compelling and fun than being an athlete in a brand new winter track event that's never been contested before??? One that few people have ever even seen, much less competed in. An event where there is legitimate potential for a new national record virtually every time it is run. The indoor steeplechase is undoubtedly the most intriguing and best event in all of winter track. We're not just superb athletes, we are pioneers in the sport of track and field, laying the groundwork for the future of this event and making history as we do so. We're going where no indoor track and field athletes have ever gone before, and we are undeniably the best conditioned athletes in all of winter track.
The following list was written by Glen Hazelwood, author of the prior article, Musings of a Rookie XC Dad.