What if.
Two words. Six letters. And thousands upon thousands of possibilities.
Playing the "what if" game can be maddening enough. When you consider, though, that Jenn O'Neil has had two opportunities to play that cruel game - both of which, had she won the game, might have earned her a spot on one of two U.S. Olympic teams - her story becomes that much more amazing.
O'Neil, 33, earned her place in New York State prep school lore when she was a student at Fairport High School some 16 years ago. Her exploits as a pole vaulter earned her national recognition and a Stanford education. While injuries robbed her of a chance to compete for The Cardinal and get a shot at the U.S. Olympic team, that she even made it that far makes her story that much more incredible.
The Geneva, N.Y. resident was a gifted gymnast as child and young teenager, good enough to have hopes of competing in the Olympics. When she soared through the air, it wasn't with a pole, it was from a leap off the balance beam or a twisting, turning somersault while vaulting.
"I was a competitive gymnast and my aim was for the Olympics," O'Neil said. "And one fall did me in."
That one fall, which happened just before her freshman year of high school, did more than end O'Neil's career as a gymnast. It almost left without the use of her legs. The tumble came as she was doing a back handspring layout on the balance beam.
"My landing was off and on the balance beam there is no room for error," O'Neil said. "That's when I heard my lower back crunch and felt an intense pain shoot down both my legs. I fell down to the mat and knew something was seriously wrong. I had fractured two vertebrae in my spine.
"At that point, the pain was excruciating. But at least pain meant there was still feeling. A few weeks later I lost feeling completely and was paralyzed from the waist down. I was bedridden for six months hoping the feeling would come back but in the end spinal fusion surgery was necessary. They didn't know if I was going to walk again."
Because there was no guarantee that the surgery would work, the 15-year-old O'Neil admits she was scared. When she awoke from the surgery, during which she had plates and screws fused into her lower spine, she was able to wiggle her toes. While she would never compete as a gymnast again she would be able to walk.
"Learning to walk again was a frustrating process, especially for someone so used to flipping around and competing at the national level in gymnastics," O'Neil said. "But I was lucky enough to have the best family in the world who supported me through those arduous months. A year later, with metal plates and screws holding my back together, I started pole vaulting."
It wasn't as simple as that, though. O'Neil started walking slowly on an elliptical machine, progressing a little at time and within seven months she was running again. While gymnastic was out of the question, O'Neil still had an intense desire to compete so she turned to the track team as a sophomore.
"Running around the track was low stress and I was able to keep moving," O'Neil said. "Midway through the season we were in the middle of a meet and the coach said we needed points. He heard I was a gymnast so he asked if I could try the pole vault. He hands me this giant pole, made for a man that weighs 180 pounds. I think I made it over seven feet in that meet and tried to get us a few points at every meet after that."
That summer O'Neil heard about Rick Suhr, who by that time had become a pole vaulting guru in upstate New York. He began working with O'Neil and she began competing for him during the indoor season.
"A few months later I was upward of 12 feet for a Section 5 record," O'Neil said. "It was less than a year where things just clicked into place."
O'Neil took third place that spring in the NYSPHAA Championships with a vault of 12-3 and then headed down to North Carolina with Suhr and teammates Tiffany Maskulinski and Mary Saxer to compete at the Adidas Outdoor Championships in June.
Maskulinski jumped 13-1.5 to take the national championship. O'Neil also jumped 13-1.5 but finished second because she needed more attempts to reach that height. Saxer finished seventh at 11-11.75. All three were named All-Americans.
"It was a good time to have my highest height," O'Neil said. "I almost no heighted at that meet. My first attempt I blew through the pole. I'm from Rochester and I like the snow. It was 90 degrees and it was the weirdest thing. On my second attempt, my hands slipped all the way down the pole [from perspiration].
"I had one more attempt and thankfully we worked things out through talking and some changes. I went to that from almost having a no height."
Stress fractures in her shins would limit what O'Neil was able to do during her senior year but she was still able to win the Monroe County championship with a 10-foot vault. She thought her miraculous story would continue as she headed to Stanford but fate - and her back - intervened once again.
"I was so lucky to go out there and vault with them," O'Neil said. "I vaulted with them a good chunk of my freshman year but I fell and hurt my back again. I had to look at my athletic career and look at what my life would be like five years down the line and did I want to be walking. So, I put the pole down after my first year of college.
"I never competed in a meet at Stanford. At the time it was tough not to do one meet in a Stamford uniform especially watching Tiffany and Mary at their institutions. After the fall I had to get my mind off the fact that I was no longer a Division I athlete training for the Olympics."
While O'Neil could no longer compete, the prospect of a Stanford education softened the blow. She would go on to study in Chile, do conservation work in Australia and ultimately take a teaching position in Spain, where she would spend five years and meet her future husband. She currently works for Hobart and William Smith Colleges as the Pre-Departure and Re-Entry Programming Coordinator at the school's Center for Global Education.
O'Neil's international academic experience would not have been possible had she continued to vault in college. She was able to go abroad and now part of her work involves helping other athletes get the chance to study in another country.
"It's funny how things come back around," she said. "One of the things I am passionate about is student athletes having that international experience. Those are opportunities that was once weren't possible because [as athletes] we are so focused and committed [to our sport]. I've worked with quite a few coaches on campus to give athletes a chance to go abroad."
There is that "what if" game, though. What if she hadn't fallen off the beam? What if she didn't injure herself at Stanford? Would O'Neil be home polishing an Olympic medal by now? She prefers not to play that game. At least not anymore.
"I would say past tense yes, present day, no, 99.9 percent of the time," O'Neil said. "The things I took away from both sports I've been able to incorporate into my everyday life. I take that mental toughness and make myself a better person. That's the great thing I took away from it.
"Would I say what if? Sure, I had bigger plans with sports being a part of my life but my life fell into place wonderfully. I am very happy, though. Things are so good now. The spot I am in now has given me so much. It's not always about the end height at the end of the meet. It's about the lessons you have learned and what you take from the experience."
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